Are you an accountant?

Tell me how this is possible. And don't explain the math to me cause I know mathmatically it works out.

I currently gross $756 per pay check
I work 80 hours per pay period
I get paid bi-monthly so I have 24 paychecks per year
Do the math, I make $9.45 an hour and $18144 per year

Our payroll has changed to 26 paychecks per year instead of 24
And I still make $18144 per year
Do the math, I now Gross $697.84 per pay check (expected) and I make $8.72 an hour

Now here's my question...if I make the SAME per year and work the SAME hours as before, how do I suddenly make $0.73 less per hour than I did before? It doesn't make sense to me at all. I know the math works, I've done the math on it three times now, both on calculator and on paper. And granted I understand that under the new system I am making 2 more paychecks than before. But I don't understand how I can make the same per year but less per hour than before. I don't see how my hourly rate would factor in with my 2 extra pay periods. It's the same number of hours, same yearly salary. O_o I just can't get my head around it. I mean, ok, I am satisfied that I am not losing any more money than I already figured on losing. And I am also satisfied that technically, I am not losing any money at all. I just want to understand it now instead of taking it as red that all is well, you know?

And I got so upset. And technically I am still a little upset because I was making $8.75 an hour before I even went full time and now I'm making $0.03 cents less and I've had three raises since then. So it's apparently going to take me another 2 years to get back up to where I was just a week ago. I feel like I am spinning my God Damn wheels with this God forsaken company, I swear. If it isn't my payroll being a big ass surprise then it's me being passed over for promotion while stupid little attitude girls who haven't been here as long as I have get promoted left, right, and center. I'm fecking sick of it. And now I have to go eat crow to Dorie cause I was way upset about this whole thing. I hate myself when I do that. And I know it is partly to do with my period. I feel like I would have been more calm about it if I wasn't on my rag and also wasn't getting this cold that has been hovering in my chest for this whole week. Plus I get bitchy when I am hungry and I was definately hungry when I read this little tidbit. But I still wish I could fucking control myself when I get like that. I am 99% of the time a pretty calm person but one little thing can send me into a tizzy and then I look like a damn fool. And no matter how hard I try I can't seem to control that bitchy part of myself. So basically, here in 5 minutes when I go back to work, I am going to have to go apologise to Dorie, tell her I did the math and it sorta works out, and eat crow. Major crow. Gah! I am so sick of this damn job. I am so sick of my temper. Here I am trying my damndest to get promoted around there and I fly off the handle about my goddamn paycheck. GOD why am I so HIGH STRUNG?!?! And why the hell can't I control it better? I've been living with this personality for 24 years now, why the hell can't I control it better by now?!? Everything's always fucking worst case scenerio to me and I hate it. I hate being like that. Which I understand admitting I have a problem blah blah blah. 12 steppers know what I am talking about. It's just something I have to work on. But how much longer will I have to work on this shit before I am finally a fully functioning member of society? It's so damn frustrating already around there and I only make it worse when I act like this (worse for myself anyway) so what the hell is fucking wrong with me already??? Fuck I have to go back to work now. I need a day the fuck off. I feel like fucking shit.

Foamy and insomnia and people with no brains

Didn't sleep last night. Don't know why. I only know I am tired as fuck now. And Gaia is down for another 15 minutes at least. Suck. Watched my Foamy the Squirrell DVDs last night from first to last. Good times...kinda. Read my book for a few hours, still didn't sleep. Finally slept at 2AM. Then had to go to work this morning. Double suck.

These women...these (for lack of a better term) zombies I work with must be stopped. It's fucking ridiculous, believe me. I mean, when the tellers come to me with just about all their questions then you know there is something wrong. What the hell is >radio edit<>radio edit<>radio edit< to be doing all day other than the cash ordering on monday mornings (that I do more often than she does)? I wouldn't get as frustrated as I do if I at least had some damn authority or a wage that was consistant with the work I do. God, I am so tired of being taken advantage of!

Gender Specific Toys at McDonalds

Why does it matter whether I am getting a Happy Meal for a boy or a girl? The Peanut Gallery responds "Because they have different toys for girls and boys!" And I understand that. But why are we re-enforcing Gender Specific roles at McDonalds? Has McDonalds become the last outpost of the 1950's mentality of dolls for girls and cars for boys? What if my little girl wants the Tek toy or the Matchbox car? What if my little boy wants the Bratz playset or the Barbie doll?

Thus the Peanut Gallery now screams "Then tell the cashier you want the Boy toy if your little girl wants the Boy toy and vice versa!" And yes, that's a solution. A solution I thought of. But that doesn't teach a good message to my child and it does nothing to dispell the myth of the Gender Specific toy. Basically, you are asking me to lie (bad) about my child's gender (also bad) just so they can get the reward they want (really bad). You are asking me to encourage my tomboy or effeminant male child to lie about themselves to make themselves more "Socially Acceptable." And you are still, whether I ask for the boy toy or the girl toy, re-enforcing an idology that really needs to die already. There isn't anything wrong with a boy who wants to play with a baby doll, nor is there anything wrong with a girl who wants to play with toy cars (or Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles!). But apparently, according to McDonalds anyway, girls must ONLY play with dolls and boys must ONLY play with video games (the toys at my local Micky Dees are a toy from a crappy video game called Tek and some baby doll thing or other). Here's a thought...how about we ask the parent whether they want the doll or the Tek toy instead of asking the parent whether they are buying a meal for a boy or a girl? See that? With one simple language modification we have erased the belief in a Gender Specific toy and encouraged the child to play with whatever he or she wants to rather than what Society tells them they "should" play with. In this day and age it is fucking ridiculous that there are commercials/fast food restaurants/whatever that are enforcing Gender Specific toys/roles/whatever. It makes me fucking sick.

Ok and now that my rant is over, a bit of news. My cat died yesterday. I'm rather upset about it. She was sick, we thought she was getting better, she suddenly took a turn for the worse, and then she died. It was awful. But at least now she isn't suffering. I miss her so much. She was one of the best cats in the universe, if not the absolute best.

RIP Curry 2003-2005. I'll miss you and I'll always love you.

Even more random thoughts

I find there to be something sad about internet porn. Especially the "free" kind. I mean, it's sad to the point of creepy to think of some random person sitting in the dark in their bedroom on the internet in a "free" porn cam chatroom telling some random chick to take her top off or whatever. And watching the "free" previews seems sad as well. I mean, we've all dabbled in the net porn arena (well, most of us I assume anyway) and once you watch a couple things it's like, you just get hit by this sense that you are acting like the creepy guy you see on the street you know? Which is why most of us never get past the dabbling stage and actually pay for the shit. It's weird.

I'm pretty open about my sexuality. I am a voyeur and I enjoy watching people masturbate and I don't have a problem owning up to my own little fetish. I really don't see a point in not talking about things like this. I mean, ok, if you're like 12 then yeah no talkie about sex. But I am a 24 year old woman and I don't see why the world wants to be so damn PG. There has always been a taboo, a stigma, attached to sex. Especially with women. We're not allowed to talk about or like sex at all. And it's sad that even in today's world there is still that stigma about sex. You're supposed to keep it in the closet as it were.

It's a double standard really. Naked people on network and cable TV will get you fined to hell and back by the FCC. But to create the illusion of nakedness is fine. I can't walk down the street with no shirt on but I can walk down the street in a bathing suit top that barely covers my tits. Truly fashionable women's clothing has been trending toward showing as much skin as possible, yet pornography is still looked upon with disgust. It's a double standard, plain and simple. We're teaching our girl children younger and younger to show off their bodies and to ooze sexuality from every pore and yet I can't walk into a sex shop without someone shaking their head and tut tutting me for being a pervert.

I dunno what I am trying to say here. Imma go dick around on Gaia for a while I guess. GOD I so want to have an adult conversation with someone.

MXC

ARE YOU KIDDING?!? I have to wait until SATURDAY the 15th before I can get my MXC fix?!? That is so not cool. It's been three weeks counting today since my regular Thursday night TV fix has been on. Shit pisses me the fuck off.

Is Queer Eye still on TV? Cause I haven't seen it in a while and I would like to see it again. The theme song reminds me of a Gay Bar Lori and I went to in Dayton.

Wow, I have three versions of the Mortal Kombat theme in my compy. Wonder how that happened? I really need to go through my music and delete things. And move things around. And rename things.

Fuck I'm Cold.

These cigarettes are so short I feel like I am smoking a joint. The fact that menthol makes me high doesn't help to dispel that feeling either.

Ok so...Liu Kang, Sonya, Johnny Cage, Raiden...that's all I can think of. That's all I need for a Worms team. Oh...Princess Katana. And Sub Zero but he was a bad guy so he doesn't count. And the other bad guy...what was his name?? I can't remember.

This song is so awesome. I fecking love Mortal Kombat. The first movie, not the game. I never could play that damn game and do any good at it. Although the newest ones seem to look pretty good.

Yeah so I'm going to buy Halo. So sue me. I've been so against it that it almost seems like a betrayal of myself to buy it. But I'm gonna. Or perhaps not. Eh whatever.

Scorpion. That's another one.

FATALITY!!! Lmao I need to not be listening to this right now. It's making me want to watch the movie and I don't own it.

Wasn't there, like, a Banshee too? Or was that X-Men? There was some chick who screamed though cause she used to kick my ass when I tried to play the old game.

Dave's playing his drums. He really needs to learn a new lick, man. He's driving me insane with the same simple lick over and over again.

Stranger's Wrath. The game where all the work went into the Environments, music, and skins and left the plotline woefully lacking. The game the ruined Oddworld. The game that made Loren Lanning fuck it all up and go in a "new direction." How I love the game....and yet how I hate it. Why did the era have to end on such a sucky note? Why couldn't it end with another Abe game?

Fucking mouse. How I loath this mouse.

FUCKING MXC!! FUCKING SPIKE TV!! HOW I HATE YOU ALL!!

Mmkay I think I'm done now.

Late for lunch again

I just realized on my drive home for lunch that my thumbs are a smaller replica of my father's. How odd...because they work like my mother's.

For some reason I was thinking of a song from Rent today. Just one line. "On the 3-D IMAX of my mind...that's poetic! That's pathetic!" I don't know why that line ran through my head but after I thought of it I starting humming "La Vie Bohem" to myself with a conspiratorial smile on my face. It's amusing to see the puzzled faces on my co-workers when I smile to myself and they don't know why, especially when I don't know why I am smiling either.

I'm not sure when I am due back to work because I thought the clock said ten after when I left but the clock in my car said fifteen after when I got out there and when I got home the compy said it was 22 after. So I might just go back early.

I bought menthol 72s today instead of light kings and saved myself a whole dollar. I will probably end up buying another pack tonite of the light kings and will use that dollar I saved to spend an extra dollar on the pack. Smoking is a vicious cycle.

I have told myself twice this week I will not eat out when I left for work at 7:55AM. By 1:00PM I was pining for a cheeseburger both days, and by 5:30PM had decided to eat out after all. This morning I told myself not to eat out. It is now 1:34PM and I am not pining for a cheeseburger. Perhaps today I will be successful in not eating out and will be able to say I saved myself a minimum of $6 by eating Mac and Cheese for dinner. The Kraft varity.

Is coffee a gentler caffeine high than Mountain Dew or Pepsi? Because I had a cup of coffee today and didn't get jittery like I do on Mountain Dew/Pepsi and now that the caffeine should be wearing off I am not crashing like I do off soda. And I put sugar in my coffee so I don't believe it has anything to do with the combination of sugar and caffeine, unless I put less sugar in my coffee than is in a 12oz can of soda. Which is entirely possible I suppose. I shouldn't even have the caffeine at all because of the fiberous "lumps" that like to form in my breasts when I have too much caffeine.

Star Crunches are not the best lunch in the world, especially when paired with Sunkist orange soda, but in a pinch it works to stave off the shakes that come with low blood sugar.

I'm really beginning to loath Besta Fasta pizza. Perhaps it is time to stop eating there.

I need a massage. My right shoulder muscles have not relaxed since 2000 or so when Doug massaged that shoulder for almost 2 hours and finally got it to relax.

Random book quote: "I hate aluminium blondes. I wonder if I could get an aluminium bleach..." from Murder Must Advertize by Dorothy L. Sayers.

Lunch Time

I like a man who wears loose-yet-tailored jeans with casual, lace up shoes. Not sneakers mind. But those nice brown leather lace up shoes that look so good when slightly covered by jeans. Doesn't matter what kind of shirt they wear...could be a t-shirt, could be a flannel shirt...they always look good. Even if it is a less than good looking man, he'll still look good in a pair of jeans and some nice shoes.

So I've been seeing some alarming tendancies in GW Bush lately. He is rewarding his cronies (read: zealots) with things like Supreme Court appointments. He is pushing for a "Literal Translation" for the Constitution. He is stocking his cabinet (and has been all along) with Yes-Men. Smacks a little of Nazism under Hitler. That annology (yeah I can't spell so sue me) goes back to all this Homeland Security nonsense. I mean, ok, yes I can see that we had more than enough adiquate (once again, I can't spell) proof that we needed to beef up our security on mass transit systems in America. Our own arrogance took the biggest hit on 9/11 when we suddenly discovered that yes, those kind of things in fact CAN happen in America. But when the Patriot Act (that I have intimate knowledge of through my work) was passed the first thing I thought of was Nazism. Seriously. I am not trying to be a "Flamer" here, nor do I take the Holocaust lightly. But if you really read about The Third Reich and do your research (I recommend starting with "The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich") you will see the similarities I am seeing. But beyond that, as if that weren't bad enough, I am starting to feel like GW Bush sees himself as a modern-day Messiah. He's acting like he's God. And that ain't cool. Mostly because not everyone in America believes in the same God he does. But also because he needs to let this superiority complex go. It annoys me that I work with Religious Zealots, no matter what religion they are spouting off about. It scares me that the leader of America, who has almost final say in all new laws, who is in charge of making appointments to high-power positions in government, is a Religious Zealot. I mean it, it scares the hell out of me that he is basically pushing for a national religion a la England back in the 1700s. Hmm...1700s...England...American Revolution anyone? Let us not forget that one of the reasons we overthrew England and began to govern ourselves was so that we could have Freedom of Religion. Many people seem to be overlooking that simple fact. We didn't start the Revolution so that we could then found a country with a different national religion, we started it so that there WAS no national religion. And to make laws that are in keeping with any one religion, regardless of popular opinion or the secular interpretation, is in VIOLATION of the principles that this Nation was founded upon. No matter what spin the President's spin doctors put on it, the fact stands as above. And when we start doing things like overturning Roe V. Wade on "moral" grounds and making same-sex marriages illegal on "moral" grounds we get further and further away from the principles this Country was founded upon and closer to becomming like 1700s England.

I'm all for morals, don't get me wrong. But the thing is, Conservatives are using the word "Moral" in place of "Religious" or "Christian." Granted religion in large part is responsible for creating morals. But in the two examples above, you can clearly see that the objections center around the Christian Right-Wing beliefs of what is right and what is wrong. It saddens me to think that so much of this Country is more interested in pushing God and Christianity as "The only way to believe" than actually stopping to think about what is truly right and wrong. Is it right to tell two people who are committed to one another and truly in love with one another that they cannot put their love in writing and receive the benefits that love gives to other couples? Is it right to tell a young rape victim that the unwanted, unplanned fetus growing within her is a living being and must be kept until birth?

I leave you with this (or perhaps these) final thought(s). So-called right to life advocates, some of them anyway, see no problem with the bombing of abortion clinics, no matter how many people lose their lives. Some right to lifers also favor the death penalty. And let us not forget how many wars have been faught in the name of God and how many people suffered and died in the face of one man's interpretation of the Bible. If these people want to save the lives of fetuses, should they not also want to save and protect the lives of their fellow men?

Bewildered as to why I did this

Hola. Happy to see you here. As if I don't have enough places to Blog, now I have a blogspot. Joy. I can't say I have very interesting things to talk about. I can't say I really have anything to talk about. But I do like this font it is making me use in the editor so that's cool. Hmm...what to say, what to say...Ok if you want to know the real reason this is here, it is simple. I stumbled across Rosie O'Donnel's blog and she mentioned Blogspot so...here I am. Yay for Rosie. Though she sounds kinda cracked out on her blog. But still...Guess to each her own. I fecking love her anyway. Anyone who can be so open about being an abused child, gay parent, and gay foster parent is ok by me.

At the moment I am waiting for my loverly husband to get home from work. Which kinda sucks because I was hoping I would pick him up as I need to get ciggies and I hate having to smoke his. It's so non-PC to be a smoker anymore. I mean, whatever happened to the elegance and noir-esqueness of being a smoker? Smoking used to lend an undefignable air of mystery and elegance to a person. No one talked of shameful things like bad breath, stinky clothes, Lung Cancer, and yellow teeth. No one complained to you about your habit. If anything, everyone and their mom smoked back in the day so if you weren't smoking there was something wrong with YOU and not vice versa. It's like drinking. In the 30s and 40s drinking and smoking were THE social things to do. Every house came equipped with a bar/drink cart and a tin of cigarettes on the coffee table. People started drinking at like 12:00 noon and didn't stop until midnight. And yes, I understand that there are health concerns that go along with all that drinking and smoking, I am talking about the social stigma that has become associated with it. I mean, 80 years ago or so it was just the norm to drink and smoke. Now if you drink on a regular basis and smoke you are suddenly an outcast, deemed unworthy to be talked to because of your habit. When did that change happen? When did it become so damn non-PC to be a smoker?

Wow. Minirant. Nice. What a wonderful way to open a new blog. I dunno man. I'm glad of the advances that have been made both socially and technologically in the past 80 years and all, but sometimes I long for a simpler time. I long for slinky silk dresses in the evening, a tapered cigarette holder, a mink stoal (oh shut the HELL UP PETA, seriously!), and a martini. Alot of people my age (24) seem to want to return to the 50s. Well to them I say, why in GOD'S NAME would you want to hang out with Ward Clever and "The Beve" when you could hang out with Cary Grant and Greta Garbo? Fuck the 50s, give me the 40s or the 30s or even the 20s. That kind of style will never be seen again in this day and age or any other. And it's sad really to think that we had it almost right all those years ago and now all of a sudden we have things so totally wrong. At least I think we have alot of it wrong. Gah, when did things get so complicated?