I need to get this out...and it might be incoherant

So I just discovered something that has thrown a shadow over my entire marriage. It seems that MySpace uses spyware to see what sites you visit on your computer and then tailor makes ads based on your surfing. Which throws a whole hell of alot of light onto the type of ads I see on MySpace. Before Steve and I got married I basically caught him out looking at internet dating websites. Big fight, he denied it, I showed him, he skirted the issue, blah blah blah. We obviously got over it because we're married now. But here's the thing...I get alot of ads for internet dating sites on MySpace now. And at first I thought it was just random ads. They were all for people seeking women to date, which I found kind of odd, but since I thought it was just random I didn't really pay much attention. Then I find out that shit about the MySpace spyware. Which confirms to me that my husband is looking at internet dating websites when I'm at work. And that just pisses me off. I would never cheat on him. And it's not so much that it hurts as it pisses me the fuck off that he's looking for some internet slut to cheat on me with. Shouldn't he respect me and my health (that he claims to be worried about) enough to stay faithful to me? For fuck's sake, dude, It's common fucking courtesy if nothing else.

Ok, yeah, it does hurt me a little bit...but it's because of the reasons. I'm a fat ass, and I know I'm a fat ass, and he finally confessed to me the other night that we don't have sex very often because of my fatness. And I was fucking fat when he married me. I was fat the first time we had sex and every time since then. He's never been with a skinny me. So what the hell did he stay with me for if he had a no fat chicks rule?! I mean seriously...if it was never a problem before, why all of a sudden now? Why after we've signed a legal contract binding us to one another? Why didn't he just tell me when we were first dating?! It sickens me, it really does. Hell, society's stance on fat sickens me to be honest but whatever...say what you want, I don't give a shit. I'm fat and it's my problem and I'll deal with it when I'm good and bloody well ready so FUCK OFF.

And Steve, if you ever read this (and I'm sure you will, you goddamn stalker control freak), DIVORCE ME. If you want to be with someone else so fucking much and you don't want to grow with me and change with me and continue to better yourself while I continue to better myself then get it the fuck over with. I love you, and I've never stopped loving you, and I'll stay until you tell me to go...but for fuck's sake, leave if you're so fucking unhappy.