The Great Ford Contour Conspiracy
My Theory:
First of all, they build in blind spots in the front of the car so that you will pull out in front of people and wreck your car. Seriously. I can't imagine why else they would put these huge plastic THINGS over the joints where the doors meet the windshield. It's like they were sitting around the drawing board one night while designing the contour trying to devise a way to make even more money off the damn thing so they designed built in blind spots so you will wreck your car man! But then, they make all sorts of little safty features so that you won't die in the wreck or even sustain more than minor injuries...that way you are still alive to buy another fine Ford motor vehical. But they make the whole car just vulnerable enough to a crash that it will be totalled by the slightest of fender benders. That way, Ford gets the money for you car plus they hook you in with the safty features and excitingly smooth curves to make you want to purchase another Contour. And they get another $20 grand from you.
But they don't stop there. The have built in flaws in key components to your vehical so they can get you to pay for parts and service, thus giving them even more money. Why else would every single damn mechanic I come across know about the mysterious chronic failure of the Contour Transmission system? I ask them something about my car, they ask what I drive, I tell them, they laugh a smug little laugh and ask me how my Tranny is. UGH! And don't even get me started on the electrical system. $600 on a new alternator and $50 on a new battery and the damn thing still won't charge right. It's ridiculous. So here's more built in flaws for me to pay for, thus giving Ford even more of my hard earned moolah.
Yeah, this was funnier in my head than it is here. My bad.
First of all, they build in blind spots in the front of the car so that you will pull out in front of people and wreck your car. Seriously. I can't imagine why else they would put these huge plastic THINGS over the joints where the doors meet the windshield. It's like they were sitting around the drawing board one night while designing the contour trying to devise a way to make even more money off the damn thing so they designed built in blind spots so you will wreck your car man! But then, they make all sorts of little safty features so that you won't die in the wreck or even sustain more than minor injuries...that way you are still alive to buy another fine Ford motor vehical. But they make the whole car just vulnerable enough to a crash that it will be totalled by the slightest of fender benders. That way, Ford gets the money for you car plus they hook you in with the safty features and excitingly smooth curves to make you want to purchase another Contour. And they get another $20 grand from you.
But they don't stop there. The have built in flaws in key components to your vehical so they can get you to pay for parts and service, thus giving them even more money. Why else would every single damn mechanic I come across know about the mysterious chronic failure of the Contour Transmission system? I ask them something about my car, they ask what I drive, I tell them, they laugh a smug little laugh and ask me how my Tranny is. UGH! And don't even get me started on the electrical system. $600 on a new alternator and $50 on a new battery and the damn thing still won't charge right. It's ridiculous. So here's more built in flaws for me to pay for, thus giving Ford even more of my hard earned moolah.
Yeah, this was funnier in my head than it is here. My bad.
posted by Jenn at 19:33
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